Also Youtube, thank you for advertising Land of the Lost, now I have to scroll downward to see all the new videos from my subscriptions because the fucking banner is the size of a fucking hallway. No wonder I feel more comfortable writing articles rather then upload videos onto your greedy ass site.
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My sister apparently told me about yet ANOTHER game made by the infamous animal rights psychos called PeTA. How does my sister know about this? Well, apparently it all started when she gave her email address to them for some reason, probably by playing Super Chick Sisters or that Cooking Mama ripoff… and now my sister gets PeTA spam mail on a regular basis just because she gave out her email address to a bunch of evil people like some dumb broad.
...Dumb broad.
…
Enough of my sister’s carelessness, on to my next subject. Apparently PETA made a game called “Sea Kittens”. If you haven’t known from previous rants… I hate PeTA’s games largely not only because they blatantly rip off popular Nintendo licenses, they also promote lies and propaganda where the messages conveyed do more harm then good. Case in point:
Super Chick Sisters: Topic here
Cooking Mama: Mama Kills Animals Part 1, Part 2
I’ve pretty much raped these games for the ripoffs they are and for how bullshit they are, and uploaded Let’s pl…. I mean game playthroughs of the games on CorporateBitchTube, so already my expectations for Sea Kittens is not very high.
Now, I somewhat believe in the stubborn ideology called “I call ‘em like I see ‘em”, because chances are that people are not going to change overnight and will likely repeat the same mistakes over and over again.
…I’m watching you, you sadistic Hitler bitch.
Youtube’s still going to suck the Irate Gamer’s cocktail weenie, 3D Sonic games will always suck, I’m still going to be a power hungry sex machine, and PeTA’s still going to piss us off with shitty games and propaganda. Now, let’s see which game “Sea Kittens” is going to rip off THIS time. mmmmmMMMM?
http://www.peta.org/sea_Kittens/game.asp
…oh god, this is going to rip off Fishy, isn’t it? I love that freeware game, an arcade style romp, complete with a subtle environmental message.
This is going to hurt, isn’t it? It even has the same sense of aura and pleasant generic underwater music to go along with it. Ok, rather then assume what is going to happen… I’d rather reserve my judgment for when I actually play the game. Besides, I doubt PeTA can properly emulate Fishy’s arcade-style gameplay without ripping SOMEBODY off.
...at least Fishy had a title screen.
Ok, you can choose between Trout, Salmon, tuna, Flounder, Anchovy, mahi mahi, and swordfish. Well, graphically, the game’s not bad so far, at least the graphics are lush and colourful… even if it is in the same art style as Super Mario Ripoff…. Hold on a second…
Wow, I thought I was the crazy one. “Sea kittens”? Oh yea, I forgot. For those of you who don’t know, apparently PeTA has this fetish for calling fish ‘sea kittens’ for some stupid reason, no doubt thinking “Hey, you know what? Everybody nicknames Seals ‘sea lions’, so let’s be original by calling the rest of fishkind ‘sea kittens’, because you know, we are so original guyse!”… says the people who thought making a game that rips off Super Mario Brothers would get people to stop eating KFC.
…
Erm… Despite the variety of fish to choose from, I doubt they are going to play with different styles of gameplay. Remember, this is PeTA we’re dealing with, they aren’t very deep when it comes to programming individual characters. In fact, there is no gameplay, because the game so far is just a glorified version of dress-up.
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…pfff… and here I was expecting a half-assed platformer. All the fish are pretty much the same, since the items to dress up your ‘fish’ are going to be the same no matter what you choose, so the only difference between the ‘fish’ is the look…. Yes, I call them ‘fish’ because ‘sea kittens’ sound fucking retarded.
Ok, so we go through the standard dress-up-your-Mii process. We got ‘Hair’, ‘clothing’, and ‘accessories’. See, I told you these guys don’t have much variety in their stuff.
For hair, we got stuff like cat ears, unicorn horn, goth hair, DONALD TRUMP’S TOUPEE… Ok, the Donald Trump thing got me a chuckle. Not to mention things like Dog ears and an Elephant trunk. Hey, back off, I thought this was supposed to be a sea KITTEN, not a Sea Dogelephant! Where did this come from? Stop deviating away from the source material, PeTA!
For clothes, we got stuff like: napkins that I think are supposed to resemble clothes, a tutu, and a fucking bikini… wait… a bikini? Isnt this rendered pointless by the fact that Fish are aquatic creatures with no legs? THAT MAKES NO SENSE!!! Do non-Anthropomorphic fish even HAVE breasts? What if that's a male fish that you're dressing up in a tutu?
Ah yes, the accessories, or ‘extra crap’ per say. First thing you’ll notice is:
…A fucking Wiimote? No doubt shoehorned in by PETA in an attempt to cover their asses from the mass amount of plagiarism called Super Chick Sisters. Sorry, the damage has already been done, although with this attempt at kissassery I doubt Nintendo would notice or care. Seriously, Nintendo didn’t give a flying fuck about PeTA’s last two games, so it’s very unlikely that they’d notice the Wiimote that’s likely placed there as an afterthought.
Also, an Ipod, since… you know, trendy pretentious “hipster” crap like the Ipod and American Idol are everywhere these days… even in this article. It’s like they are the devil or something. In fact, you can just picture the Guitar Hero markings on that guitar over there.
Just squint your eyes a little bit more.
Fucking disgusting. Well… this is what you get for selling out.
… and there’s even a toy mouse and a litter box for your ‘fish’ to play with… even though those sort of things is completely impractical for an AQUATIC CREATURE to use!!! PeTA, you do realize that cats and fish are two entirely different species, not to mention the two live in completely different environments? I really doubt that litter box would work underwater.
Oh yea, you can also put on a Tiara and lipstick on your ‘fish’… which kind of derails any argument that PETA’s made over the years against using cosmetics on Animal testing…
So let me get this straight… PeTA’s willing to sink to the low of commiting acts of violence to animal testing labs, even going as far as to support the acts of Rodney Coronado, a man who sent a message about animal testing labs by FIREBOMBING a Michigan State University research facility causing hundreds of thousands of dollars worth in damage. Yes, PeTA, support the Animal Liberation Front and destroy potential medical research that might benefit humanity as a whole and get in the way of finding cures for stuff like AIDS, Cancer, or Autism… you fucking idiots… PeTA has made such a big deal about animal testing labs…
… and yet they make games that make you can put lipstick and dog ears on fish.
You FUCKING HYPOCRATES!!!
Yes, let’s defy the “Ethical” part of the organizations's name by forcing aquatic animals to wear clothes. Wow, this is kinda sad actually, seeing as how the fish is always smiling even if you put elephant ears and a tutu on it. Hell, the fish’s eyes always look in the direction your cursor is at, which is not creepy in the slightest. How much you want to bet that fish is contemplating a mass killing spree? When you are done
Subtle *eats a bucket of KFC*
Alright… now that I’ve customized my “fish”, let’s start playing the actual game, shall we?
What? That’s it? That’s all there is to the game? That’s all you got? Uhrrr… I guess the entire game WAS that dress-up bit. Anticlimactic, but at least this time around PeTA abruptly ended the game before doing something really fucking stupid. They are actually learning something this time.
Download? I don’t fucking think so, seeing as how the last 2 PETA games I downloaded onto my hard drive took up 90% of my RAM while playing them… I’d rather not take my chances with this one, even if this game isn’t very long.
Embed? Ah, no thanks. I’m comfortable with my print screen and a copy of MSPaint, thanks… I heard embedding stuff like this on forum posts is a form of DDoS attack.
Foreward to Friends? Why the fuck would I want to do that? What, so that they can look at this atrocity for one second before wanting to
..
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Sooooo…. Does anybody know the Irate Gamer’s email address?
Also note the banner at the top of the screen.
I dont recall seeing any of these outfits in the actual game... which is quite misleading. What, is the browser version like the 'demo' version? Should I even bother to get the full version of the game just for a few more outfits to dress my fish?
"Save the Sea Kittens"? I dont seem to recall saving any fish in this game. All I did was dress them up in stupid outfits... in fact this feels more like 'entrapment' to me.
Hell, they're even advertising Sea kitten plushies! Selling out now, are we?
Well, two can play at this game... because I intend on spreading the love of this article onto other forums.
1337planet: Article here
In conclusion, PeTA’s Sea Kittens might be nowhere near as offensive as Super chick Sisters or that Cooking Mama ripoff, it’s still ridiculously short. It’s nothing more then a glorified version of dress-up that’s less a game then it is an excuse to convey PeTA’s stupid message that the name ‘fish’ should be renamed to ‘sea kitten’. Sure, this concept is ludicrous, but hey… it’s nowhere near as retarded as PETA’s initiative to BOYCOTT MAPLE SYRUP BY LINKING IT TO SEAL SLAUGHTER!!!
...and this is why I don’t take these people seriously.
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Good night folks, and… END OF RANT
